14-31 May 2020

Ten Minutes with Tessa


If 2020 has shown us anything, it’s that systems always require updating. We need to be able to reimagine things to have a chance at a better future, both individually and collectively. 

Before the arts sector was placed on pause, I was making a documentary about finding love, about the current systems and challenges relative to those in the past about how, why and if we find love. A lot of what was discussed with those interviewed was what they would like to see change in the future. And now we have the added layer of a global pandemic.  

Where will this all lead us? What will we find once we can finally meet again?

What does the future of love look like? 

Ten Minutes with Tessa is a (fake) live radio show that talks about the future of the outside world. Today is about the future of finding love.

I’m sure you’ll all agree that we’ve come a long way (does anyone else remember the religious educational videos of two raindrops joining together to make a child?)

This may inspire you to think more about what we would all like for the future of finding love. 

But I also figured everyone could use a laugh. 


Full audio with transcript below.



[Tambourine jingles] 

TESSA: You’re listening to Ten Minutes with Tessa.  tenminutes@tenminuteswithtessa.com 


[Metallic ding] 


TESSA: Hello everybody and welcome to today’s edition of Ten Minutes with Tessa, my live radio show about the future of the outside world from inside my own home.  

[Metallic ding] 

TESSA: Today we are looking at the wonderful world of finding love.
Everything from traditional courting to modern swiping and beyond.
What does the future of love really look like?

What do YOU think about finding love? 
Text me, call me, email me. 

Oooohhh it’s a tricky one. 
Finding love…
And in just ten minutes!
Sure, what’s the worst that could happen, huh?  

[Phone notification pings] 


TESSA: Wow, that was quick!
Oh, it’s just my Barry, so hold on. 

[Tessa moves away from the microphone, opens the door and shouts out of the room] 

TESSA: I’ve started Barry. I’ll be down in a few minutes ok? 

 [Door closes. Footsteps back to the microphone. Tessa sits down] 


TESSA: So, before we ponder on the future, 
let’s talk a little bit about how we got to this point.
Before there was simply biology. 
Before, you got married and had sex for the first time. 
Now we get married and stop having sex with other people.
Nowadays we have millions of people at our fingertips.
Now though, you have to present your very best self and just hope you’ve chosen the best selfie to do that.  

But where will this lead us?
What does the future of love look like? 


Let’s go straight into our first email here, thanks so much for sending this into us, eh… 

Joanne says, “I think the future of love should be bold and brave like I was.
My engagement was amusing.
I met him at lunchtime on a Saturday. 
We had met at a party the previous week.
I had coffee because this was a first date as such,” too right, 
“and he was on pints. And after about an hour he said to me if I asked you to marry me, what percentage of you would say yes? 
[sharp inhale of breath]
And I thought Jesus!
So, I said ok, three percent.
Every half an hour he would ask me, what percentage are we at now?
By the time I left him at four o’clock, I said yes. 
We’ve been married for 42 years now.” 

Oh my God, you know, that reminds me so much of my Barry.
We’ve been together since we were 15.
But it’s like we met yesterday, you know? 
Absolutely mad about each other. 

But sadly Joanne, we know that’s not everyone’s story. 
You know, there are absolutely genuine challenges in finding a partner. 
And that’s for both male and female, gay and straight.
But could the future of love change all that? 

Here’s another email that’s just come through from Michelle. 

Michelle says, “My partner of 10 years left me two months ago and I’m crippled with heartbreak. I’m afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.” 

Oh God, you know what Michelle, it’s really hard to see it right now but this is temporary.
You’ll work through this and you’ll come out stronger for it.

You really have to put the work in here Michelle.
Don’t fall apart, ok?
Life has thrown you lemons so you get out there and make that lemonade.  


[Phone notification pings]  

TESSA: Barry, “You’re making so much sense. Love is a crazy thing.
Great to hear the different
 perspectives. Everyone is on their own journey. Everyone needs to lay their own path.”  

Ah. My gorgeous Barry there.
And yes, lay your own path, build your own destiny, be the happiest you can be! 

[Shouts away from the microphone]

Now leave me alone to finish the show Barry, will ya?!  

[Laughs, turns back to the microphone]

It’s called a ‘live radio show’ for a reason! 


He just doesn’t get it.  


[Addresses the listeners]

Now, if you’re just tuning in, we want to hear from YOU. 
We are talking about the future of love.
What’s your biggest fear? What are your hopes for the future? 
Get texting, get emailing. 

Here’s one from John. 

John says, “I’ve just come out of a relationship that wasn’t right for years.
It was all going great until we started going separate ways.”
, that happens. 
“I recently met someone online and, no matter what it progresses into, I know now that I definitely made the right decision with my ex.
So for anyone out there looking to be really happy, just ask yourself, what is happiness for you?”

Well. Absolutely John.
You know, connection is everything. 
I really hope you find that true meaningful connection in the future, John, thanks for writing into us.  


[Inhales deeply] 

But you do have to be very careful too because there is a trap! You know?
How many of us have been tickled by the idea that there is something better out there?
How many of us felt that the grass could be just that little bit greener on the other side?

We want movie love. 
We deserve movie love.  

We have a text here from Shane. 

Shane says, “I am looking to meet someone! When will this happen for me?” 

Well, Shane, I have to say I think looking for a connection is probably a bad way to find one.
Sometimes these things just surprise you when you’re most distracted.

Travel the world and meet new people.
Make that big career move that you’ve been wanting to do for so long. 
You know, love will find a way.   

[Inhales deeply]

Now I know I was only 15, but I wasn’t even thinking about a relationship when Barry popped into my life.
And now look at us!

The good news is Shane, is that there is absolutely someone for everyone. 
You’ll meet them one day. 
Just like I met Barry. 


We have a caller on line 1 who says they know exactly what the future of love looks like…
Wow! Okay!

Hello, caller, tell us the secret of finding love! 



[Silence, Tessa clears her throat] 

Caller, are you there? 


It seems there’s been a breakdown in communication there, so we’ll just move on. 

Here’s our next email“I’m afraid of not following my heart and settling when I shouldn’t.” 

Well, you should never settle. You know.
Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy because it’s easy.
Don’t be with ANYONE if you don’t want to be. 


Let’s talk about hopes and dreams!
What have you been wishing for your future? 

“I have everything I need. I just hope it stays this way for as long as possible.
Simon here wants longevity.
Must be living his best life. 

Jane says, “I think my biggest fear would be letting my kids go!” 


Well, Jane, this is about romantic love!
Nothing to do with letting your kids go… 

Ehhh. Lara dreams about meeting someone. Yeah, okay. 

Sally, “I hope the future of love is more like love in the past. Simpler times.” 
Fair enough. 

Mary hopes we all find happiness… 
Cheers Mary. 

Okay, just three minutes left to figure out the future of finding love… get texting! 


[Phone notification pings]  

TESSA: Barry. 

For fuck sake.
I swear to god. 

“Thanks for helping me understand myself. Everything is so clear for me now. It’s not you, it’s me. I hope we can be friends one day.” 


Oh my god. 




There must be some kind of mistake.
It must be a different Barry.

[Tessa’s voice is shaken, she takes short breaths] 

We can talk about this.
We can figure this out.
What’s wrong?
T-tell me. 


You’re not the only one who hasn’t been happy.  

[Raised voice]

No. Fine. Fine.
If this is what you want. Then fine.


Why now? 
Like I’m – like I’m live on air.
How could you do this to me? 

[Moves away from the microphone, stands up, opens the door while shouting]

How could you DO THIS TO ME?

[Shouts in the distance] 

TESSA: No, Barry.
We will not be fucking friends one day, you selfish fucking prick.
Get your shit out of my house.
Do you hear me?  


BARRY: Ah for-



[Heavy breathing. Footsteps. Door slams. Tessa walks back to the microphone and sits down] 


TESSA: Sorry about that folks. 

[Breathes heavily] 

Can we just go back? 

[Breathes heavily]  

Can we just go back to


 to our e-emails and texts.

Here’s one from Laura. 
Laura says, “It’s hard to see it now, but you’re probably better off.” 

Sally“Kind of ironic but still unfair. Start making lemonade.” 

Thanks Sally. 

Oh great.
Here’s happily married Joanne back again, “Chin up.” 



We’re running out of time.
And we still don’t know the future of finding love. 

Look obviously this show hasn’t gone as Id planned, but I do think love is the most important thing. 

I want to be bold and brave.
I want to make lemonade.  

Maybe someone out there listening wants the same?
Send me a DM with a Zoom meeting number, we can have a drink. 

That’s it. 

[Tessa moves away from the microphone. Something metallic falls to the floor. Footsteps towards the door. Shouting] 

TESSA: You better have all your shit packed… 

[Sound ends abruptly]

Listen on Soundcloud here

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